If ever there was a question as to where the world would receive its supply of rape hysteria, ready-made with all its due-process-be-damned dismissals of the presumption of innocence, its sneering denial of the harm false accusations cause to the wrongly accused, and its promotions of false rape accusations by its now-iconic shtick of “this isn’t really rape but I’m going to call it rape anyway,” have no fear: Huffington Post College is sure to provide.
Today, instead of some insane rambling by Lulu Chang at Dartmouth about how every male student who is acquitted MUST be a rapist (why? Because they’re male, of course), instead of Tyler Kingkade telling us that an art statue of a sleepwalking man in underwear at Wellesley is somehow “pro-rape,” and instead of Soraya Chemali telling us how UCONN’s sports team’s mascot (a husky) promotes “rape culture,” we are treated to this article by high school sex ed teacher Leah Bakely.
The title of it is innocent enough: “Why every student should know the definition of consent.” To kick off her article she even charitably provides us with a dictionary definition:
con·sent |kənˈsent|: Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something
Of course every student – and every person, for that matter – should understand the definition of consent. But given how often your everyday man and woman’s consent is a Feminist’s rape, and given that those who dominate the discourse on gender issues (especially at Huffington Post College) so often lean in the Feminist direction, the delicacy and importance of the issue requires us to examine what the author actually means when she says the word “consent.”
So what is Ms. Bakely’s definition of consent? Let’s dig in.
The absence of a ‘no’ is NOT explicit consent.
True enough. But let’s be careful to remember that the absence of a verbal “yes” does not in and of itself mean “no,” either. And yet, as we’ll see later, this is exactly what she thinks.
Explicit consent CANNOT be obtained if either partner is under the influence of any drug (alcohol is no exception)…
And there you are wrong, Ms. Bakely. Indeed, if such is the case, I myself have been raped many times over. And so has virtually everyone I know.
There is no such thing as “tipsy rape,” and Ms. Bakely and her fellow purveyors of rape hysteria should know better. If someone is incapacitated (that’s the magic word) by alcohol – for example, totally wasted and passed out – then no, consent is not present. But there’s a difference between being “under the influence” of alcohol and being “incapacitated.”
I guess to Ms. Bakely, every romantic dinner involving wine is just a rape waiting to happen. Wouldn’t you love to date her? Or perhaps a woman just like her?
Explicit consent IS — and is only — the presence of enthusiastic and voluntary “yeses” on the parts of both partners.
No, no, no. In absolutely no legal code do we see a requirement that consent be “enthusiastic.” Nor do we see a requirement of a verbal “yes.” Again, if such were the case, I and many of my male friends and family members have been raped hundreds of times over.
If such were the case, then I can’t help but wonder how I would recover from the shock of knowing that – at one point – someone consented to having sex with me, but she wasn’t hyperventilating and screaming “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD” every second like a porn star. And how do I come to terms with the fact that I have consented to sex in the past, but it hasn’t been with raging enthusiasm?
It seems that there’s so much rape to go around that everyone’s a rape victim nowadays.
As I said after Goshen College declared that all men who merely stare at women are committing “psychological rape,” we’re all rapists now. Every one of us. Which means that rape isn’t anything special or unique. On the contrary, it’s something every adult – male and female – has experienced at one point in their life.
So if someone comes up to you and says “I’m a rape victim,” what’s the appropriate response? None other than this:
So what? Isn’t everybody?
And that is an entirely reasonable response – in the kind of world where everything is rape. A world where rape itself has lost all meaning. The kind of world these people want to create.
As usual, Feminists & Friends blame everyone else for the trivialization of rape, even as they go about trivializing rape as a matter of course. It doesn’t matter to them. Whatever demonizes men and gives women power in the short term. That is the only thing they really care about. Not men. Not women. And – in the long run – not rape victims.
We aren’t done yet, however. There is more that can be gained from this article. She continues:
I wish someone had taught me these definitions before college.
And that should tell you exactly where she is getting this warped idea of what rape is and isn’t: our institutions of “higher education.” Aren’t they supposed to teach students how to think, not what to think? Or have they instead “progressed” beyond that?
Lucky for me, I somehow managed to avoid being sexually assaulted or — God forbid — sexually assaulting someone even before I knew the definition of the word.
Oh, don’t worry Ms. Bakely; you’ve probably sexually assaulted many people in your lifetime. You just won’t know it until someone tells you a new definition of consent. A definition you haven’t heard before, because it isn’t the real definition.
Just like what you’re doing with us right now.
Unfortunately, many people — particularly college-aged women — are not so lucky: one in four of them will be a survivor of rape or attempted rape by the time she graduates.
And this is why we deconstruct such lies here. Whenever you broaden the definition of rape, all of a sudden everyone is a “victim.” And that’s exactly how people arrive at these ludicrous numbers.
Sadly, in many high schools, discussions about consent and communication are noticeably absent from curricula. In my experience teaching sex ed. to high school students in Connecticut, I’ve found that these students can often barely comprehend what it would even mean to consent to a sexual activity.
In other words, they can barely comprehend how an insane person like Leah Bakely would have a job as an educator, attempting to indoctrinate them into her definition of sexual consent. They can barely comprehend this because, in this messed-up age we live in, students today are living in greater psychological proximity to the real world than many of their teachers.
But let’s remember: some students will unfortunately believe what their teacher is telling them is correct. Some students are still rather naive and impressionable, and look upon people like Ms. Bakely as authority figures. They will go out into the world and into their relationships with these definitions – Leah Bakely’s definitions – of sexual assault. They will have consensual sex.
And then they will cry rape and wreck some young man’s life. If they don’t falsely cry rape based upon the consensual experiences they’ve already had after they were educated indoctrinated out of them by their teacher.
This is why we need to watch what these people are doing. Academia – in the humanities especially – is churning out people like Leah Bakely left and right. They deserve to be put on full-blast for all the world to see.
There is no doubt in my mind that many sexual assaults — and not just those that occur on college campuses — would be prevented if more people knew the definitions of explicit consent and sexual assault.
On the contrary; there is not a doubt in my mind that many false rape accusations would be made against innocent people if more people accepted her way of thinking. I won’t stand for it. And if you value the well-being of men and boys as much as the well-being of women and girls, you won’t either.
Again: if you have evidence of the name of the Connecticut high school where Leah Bakely teaches sexual education, please contact this site.
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If ever there was a question as to where the world would receive its supply of rape hysteria, ready-made with all its due-process-be-damned dismissals of the presumption of innocence, its sneering denial of the harm false accusations cause to the wrongly accused, and its promotions of false rape accusations by its now-iconic shtick of “this isn’t really rape but I’m going to call it rape anyway,” have no fear: Huffington Post College is sure to provide.
Today, instead of some insane rambling by Lulu Chang at Dartmouth about how every male student who is acquitted MUST be a rapist (why? Because they’re male, of course), instead of Tyler Kingkade telling us that an art statue of a sleepwalking man in underwear at Wellesley is somehow “pro-rape,” and instead of Soraya Chemali telling us how UCONN’s sports team’s mascot (a husky) promotes “rape culture,” we are treated to this article by high school sex ed teacher Leah Bakely.
The title of it is innocent enough: “Why every student should know the definition of consent.” To kick off her article she even charitably provides us with a dictionary definition:
con·sent |kənˈsent|: Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something
Of course every student – and every person, for that matter – should understand the definition of consent. But given how often your everyday man and woman’s consent is a Feminist’s rape, and given that those who dominate the discourse on gender issues (especially at Huffington Post College) so often lean in the Feminist direction, the delicacy and importance of the issue requires us to examine what the author actually means when she says the word “consent.”
So what is Ms. Bakely’s definition of consent? Let’s dig in.
The absence of a ‘no’ is NOT explicit consent.
True enough. But let’s be careful to remember that the absence of a verbal “yes” does not in and of itself mean “no,” either. And yet, as we’ll see later, this is exactly what she thinks.
Explicit consent CANNOT be obtained if either partner is under the influence of any drug (alcohol is no exception)…
And there you are wrong, Ms. Bakely. Indeed, if such is the case, I myself have been raped many times over. And so has virtually everyone I know.
There is no such thing as “tipsy rape,” and Ms. Bakely and her fellow purveyors of rape hysteria should know better. If someone is incapacitated (that’s the magic word) by alcohol – for example, totally wasted and passed out – then no, consent is not present. But there’s a difference between being “under the influence” of alcohol and being “incapacitated.”
I guess to Ms. Bakely, every romantic dinner involving wine is just a rape waiting to happen. Wouldn’t you love to date her? Or perhaps a woman just like her?
Explicit consent IS — and is only — the presence of enthusiastic and voluntary “yeses” on the parts of both partners.
No, no, no. In absolutely no legal code do we see a requirement that consent be “enthusiastic.” Nor do we see a requirement of a verbal “yes.” Again, if such were the case, I and many of my male friends and family members have been raped hundreds of times over.
If such were the case, then I can’t help but wonder how I would recover from the shock of knowing that – at one point – someone consented to having sex with me, but she wasn’t hyperventilating and screaming “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD” every second like a porn star. And how do I come to terms with the fact that I have consented to sex in the past, but it hasn’t been with raging enthusiasm?
It seems that there’s so much rape to go around that everyone’s a rape victim nowadays.
As I said after Goshen College declared that all men who merely stare at women are committing “psychological rape,” we’re all rapists now. Every one of us. Which means that rape isn’t anything special or unique. On the contrary, it’s something every adult – male and female – has experienced at one point in their life.
So if someone comes up to you and says “I’m a rape victim,” what’s the appropriate response? None other than this:
So what? Isn’t everybody?
And that is an entirely reasonable response – in the kind of world where everything is rape. A world where rape itself has lost all meaning. The kind of world these people want to create.
As usual, Feminists & Friends blame everyone else for the trivialization of rape, even as they go about trivializing rape as a matter of course. It doesn’t matter to them. Whatever demonizes men and gives women power in the short term. That is the only thing they really care about. Not men. Not women. And – in the long run – not rape victims.
We aren’t done yet, however. There is more that can be gained from this article. She continues:
I wish someone had taught me these definitions before college.
And that should tell you exactly where she is getting this warped idea of what rape is and isn’t: our institutions of “higher education.” Aren’t they supposed to teach students how to think, not what to think? Or have they instead “progressed” beyond that?
Lucky for me, I somehow managed to avoid being sexually assaulted or — God forbid — sexually assaulting someone even before I knew the definition of the word.
Oh, don’t worry Ms. Bakely; you’ve probably sexually assaulted many people in your lifetime. You just won’t know it until someone tells you a new definition of consent. A definition you haven’t heard before, because it isn’t the real definition.
Just like what you’re doing with us right now.
Unfortunately, many people — particularly college-aged women — are not so lucky: one in four of them will be a survivor of rape or attempted rape by the time she graduates.
And this is why we deconstruct such lies here. Whenever you broaden the definition of rape, all of a sudden everyone is a “victim.” And that’s exactly how people arrive at these ludicrous numbers.
Sadly, in many high schools, discussions about consent and communication are noticeably absent from curricula. In my experience teaching sex ed. to high school students in Connecticut, I’ve found that these students can often barely comprehend what it would even mean to consent to a sexual activity.
In other words, they can barely comprehend how an insane person like Leah Bakely would have a job as an educator, attempting to indoctrinate them into her definition of sexual consent. They can barely comprehend this because, in this messed-up age we live in, students today are living in greater psychological proximity to the real world than many of their teachers.
But let’s remember: some students will unfortunately believe what their teacher is telling them is correct. Some students are still rather naive and impressionable, and look upon people like Ms. Bakely as authority figures. They will go out into the world and into their relationships with these definitions – Leah Bakely’s definitions – of sexual assault. They will have consensual sex.
And then they will cry rape and wreck some young man’s life. If they don’t falsely cry rape based upon the consensual experiences they’ve already had after they were educated indoctrinated out of them by their teacher.
This is why we need to watch what these people are doing. Academia – in the humanities especially – is churning out people like Leah Bakely left and right. They deserve to be put on full-blast for all the world to see.
There is no doubt in my mind that many sexual assaults — and not just those that occur on college campuses — would be prevented if more people knew the definitions of explicit consent and sexual assault.
On the contrary; there is not a doubt in my mind that many false rape accusations would be made against innocent people if more people accepted her way of thinking. I won’t stand for it. And if you value the well-being of men and boys as much as the well-being of women and girls, you won’t either.
Again: if you have evidence of the name of the Connecticut high school where Leah Bakely teaches sexual education, please contact this site.
Thank You for Reading
If you like what you have read, feel free to sign up for our newsletter here:
Support Our Work
About the Author
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18 Comments
-
Is this of use?
http://www.wesleyan.edu/studentaffairs/deanslist/deanslistfall2013.html
She appears to be a students, but are there likely to be two people of this name in CT?
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What point are you’re trying to make? A critique of a certain female teacher’s belief of what is considered consent? The number of false accusations of rape that you claim to be high (without providing a single resource to a valid and methodic scientific study)? What society considers to be consent? Or whether sex while intoxicated is actually rape? Your article reads more like a cherry-picked rant. You brought up some good points then crushed them by going on an emotional tirade. Can you please focus on a topic at a time without being biased and providing scientically backed sources?
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This feminist nazi propaganda is gonna’ end sooner or latter (let’s hope sooner rather than later). There is no more morality , no more respect no more family values no more common sense because of these feminist idiots who have no shame. Feminism was NEVER about equality , was about power and “brain washing”.
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I believe you are falsely accusing Ms. Bakely of writing a “feminist” article. Her article very briefly mentions women and rape. Rather, it addresses rape as a universal whole. I believe the author is trying to make a point about the importance of educating our nation’s youth on sex education. Yes, her alcohol point can be interpreted in a ridiculous manner, but I think you falsely looked much too deep into her statements. I think any rational person realizes that drinking before sex does not necessarily constitute rape. However, for both women AND men, the influence of drugs and alcohol can contribute to incoherence and bad decision making. Ms. Bakely is simply trying to point out that a difference in sexual experiences can be made if people simply gain consent. I struggle to understand the purpose of vilifying an intelligent and determined young woman’s efforts to improve sex culture at a young age.
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all men who merely stare at women are committing “psychological rape,”
OMG! I’m so ashamed. I now realize that I was raping my first grade crush every day. If she isn’t the CEO of a Fortune 500 company today, it’s probably my fault for demeaning her self-worth and stifling her ambitions. And all this time I thought she was just ignoring me.
Comments are closed.
More from Title IX for All
Accused Students Database
Research due process and similar lawsuits by students accused of Title IX violations (sexual assault, harassment, dating violence, stalking, etc.) in higher education.
OCR Resolutions Database
Research resolved Title IX investigations of K-12 and postsecondary institutions by the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR).
Attorneys Directory
A basic directory for looking up Title IX attorneys, most of whom have represented parties in litigation by accused students.
Is this of use?
http://www.wesleyan.edu/studentaffairs/deanslist/deanslistfall2013.html
She appears to be a students, but are there likely to be two people of this name in CT?
Yes, she’s still a sophomore student at Wesleyan U and a high school teacher (quite possible to do both). Her HuffPost profile may help us triangulate more information:
“Leah Bakely is a sophomore at Wesleyan University, double majoring in History and Hispanic Literatures and Cultures. Between playing rugby, teaching sex ed to high school students, working in the school library, peer tutoring, and doing endless amounts of required reading, she finds herself cherishing the little “free” time she has. She spends much of that time cooking, eating, hanging out with friends or doing some combination of the three. When not at school, she works as Director’s Assistant at an overnight camp and dabbles in genealogy.”
Source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/leah-bakely/
You’re a doxxer. It’s sickening to see you try to persecute a young woman who is quoting the law (Dept of Justice definitions) because you’re too cowardly to attack the government.
Please. If you want to have a credible civil rights movement, study the examples of Martin Luther King and Cesar Chavez. Understand that the institutions are the problems, not the individuals. Your post is malicious. No one credible will want to be associated with it.
Thank you for enlightening me on the evils of persecuting poor oppressed women from the All Men Are Rapists schools of Feminism. You have entirely changed my worldview. What primarily motivated me to change was how you linked directly to the Department of Justice and proved – beyond the shadow of a doubt – that the definition of rape Leah Bakely was preaching in the classroom was the correct one. You don’t have your head totally up your ass on that one at all, which is why you aren’t afraid to prove it.
And you’re right: Martin Luther King never exposed public figures – who had no reasonable expectation of privacy because they were (imagine this!) public figures. He never got up in their faces about anything. Oh no, he preferred that they keep their hoods on so that no one could see who they really were.
Kind of like you. Or perhaps you aren’t comparable to a racist from King’s day. Perhaps you’re more like the White Moderate. As King said:
“Over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.”
Martin Luther King was far more brave – and far more direct in his advocacy – than you remember him. He was a passionate and eloquent speaker. But he wasn’t a nice little doormat. Exposing public figures is a form of direct action. And as King said in his Birmingham Letters:
“Direct action seeks to create such a crisis and foster such a tension that a community which has constantly refused to negotiate is forced to confront the issue. It seeks so to dramatize the issue that it can no longer be ignored. My citing the creation of tension as part of the work of the nonviolent resister may sound rather shocking. I must confess that I am not afraid of the word “tension.” I have earnestly opposed violent tension, but there is a type of constructive, nonviolent tension which is necessary for growth.”
King was not an opponent of dramatization and sensationalism. Oh no, he very much endorsed it. But according to the white racists of King’s day, everything King did was harassment. In their minds they shook their heads and said, “Why can’t King leave us poor white people alone? Don’t those black activists understand that all we white nationalists want to do is be free from black violence?”
Kind of like how Feminists say that “the only thing we want” is for women to be free from male violence. Violence which – in their worldview – all men are guilty of, and which all men deserve to be punished for in one way or another. And if you don’t believe that a culture that denies and trivializes the humanity of men and boys – rather than “individuals” – is a problem in education, start here:
http://boysmeneducation.com/the-language-of-misandry-in-academia-faculty-students-administrators/
http://boysmeneducation.com/banners-and-posters-of-misandry/
http://boysmeneducation.com/sexism-misandry-conformism-introduction/
And if you don’t start to see at least part of the light by that point, there’s not much more that can be done for you. Those of us who understand the gravity of the situation and how bad things have become already will understand that these approaches are more than reasonable.
I am making posters of this sexist . I am going to post them from Greenwich to Stonnington,Norwalk to Suffield.
I bet you had no idea that some of Jonathan’s largest group of foot solders live in Connecticut.
The feces is going to be falling from the sky on this woman.
I think she is from Greenwich .
I addition I will be posting her mug and comments about Yale, Southern and Western State U.
Awesome! Do it! And if you want to take some snapshots on your camera/smartphone of those posters and send them to me we can post them here. The pictures of posters hung high would be great to raise the profile of this online as well!
What point are you’re trying to make? A critique of a certain female teacher’s belief of what is considered consent? The number of false accusations of rape that you claim to be high (without providing a single resource to a valid and methodic scientific study)? What society considers to be consent? Or whether sex while intoxicated is actually rape? Your article reads more like a cherry-picked rant. You brought up some good points then crushed them by going on an emotional tirade. Can you please focus on a topic at a time without being biased and providing scientically backed sources?
Hello, Feminist. The point I’m making should be rather clear. I never commented in this article on the rate of false rape claims, so your talking point there is irrelevant.
If a teacher tells her sex ed students that it’s legal for a 40 year-old to have sex with 8 year-olds, there’s no ambiguity there. We don’t need a horde of scientific studies to back up the claim that it’s illegal. And it’s not biased to call that out for being pro-rape. And an outcry (which you would call an “emotional tirade” – which would be rather disturbing to downplay it like that) would be quite justified in that case.
Because that person is a public teacher exercising an abuse of power on her students.
Actually it IS quite acceptable for a 40 year old FEMALE TEACHER to have sex with an 8 year old as long as said 8 year old is MALE.
Indeed. That’s often the “justice” of it.
What a shocking allegation. I’m sure you can support it. Where and when was it quite acceptable for that to occur?
Shocking indeed. A good example of the persistent defense of statutory rape (when committed by women) was just seen recently at Queen’s University, when Feminist professor Adele Mercier argued that underage boys in juvenile detention centers who are raped by female prison guards are “asking for it”:
http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/professor-adele-mercier-it-wasnt-rape-he-was-asking-for-it-queensjournal/
And here are her Feminist friends closing ranks around her and supporting her:
http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminist-censorship/the-silence-is-deafening/
Susie Parker, who you see commenting above, also commented on the first article. You can also see similar cases here:
http://boysmeneducation.com/female-teacher-megan-denman-gets-four-months-jail-for-six-felony-counts-of-statutory-rape-doesnt-register-as-sex-offender-her-reaction-surprised-she-was-punished-at-all/
Many similar cases abound. But those are good starts. You’ll have to use Google for the rest, I’m afraid.
In Connecticut female teachers convicted of rape.I mean sexual assault( they only refer to it as rape when a male teacher assaults a female student) always receive probation.
This is due to feminist jurisprudence.
Let’s remember that, at the very least, in many educational institutions this would be considered a breach of contract and unprofessional, and hence grounds for dismissal on that fact alone WITHOUT making it a political issue.
Teaching abject untruths in the explicit pursuit of this-or-that orthodoxy flies in the face of the purpose of educational institutions and erodes our trust in (and the credibility of) the teaching profession. And while we’re on that point, when’s the last time you heard a Feminist in academia say THAT? I’ve never heard it, and I’ve been involved in academia one way or another all my life.
It would be one thing if she said “now this is what the law defines rape as, and then here’s what I think it should be.” But that is clearly not what she is doing.
This feminist nazi propaganda is gonna’ end sooner or latter (let’s hope sooner rather than later). There is no more morality , no more respect no more family values no more common sense because of these feminist idiots who have no shame. Feminism was NEVER about equality , was about power and “brain washing”.
I believe you are falsely accusing Ms. Bakely of writing a “feminist” article. Her article very briefly mentions women and rape. Rather, it addresses rape as a universal whole. I believe the author is trying to make a point about the importance of educating our nation’s youth on sex education. Yes, her alcohol point can be interpreted in a ridiculous manner, but I think you falsely looked much too deep into her statements. I think any rational person realizes that drinking before sex does not necessarily constitute rape. However, for both women AND men, the influence of drugs and alcohol can contribute to incoherence and bad decision making. Ms. Bakely is simply trying to point out that a difference in sexual experiences can be made if people simply gain consent. I struggle to understand the purpose of vilifying an intelligent and determined young woman’s efforts to improve sex culture at a young age.
“I think any rational person realizes that drinking before sex does not necessarily constitute rape.”
I agree. Now compare that statement with Leah Bakely’s statement here:
“Explicit consent CANNOT be obtained if either partner is under the influence of any drug (alcohol is no exception).”
Her statement directly contradicts yours. It would appear that Ms. Bakely is not the rational, intelligent person you have presumed her to be. And no, it has nothing to do with interpretation. She is not being ambiguous; on the contrary, she is being very explicit, and even using caps for increased emphasis. For these reasons there is no reasonable basis to conclude that I am giving her an uncharitable reading. Indeed, the evidence strongly confirms that I am reading her as she really is.
all men who merely stare at women are committing “psychological rape,”
OMG! I’m so ashamed. I now realize that I was raping my first grade crush every day. If she isn’t the CEO of a Fortune 500 company today, it’s probably my fault for demeaning her self-worth and stifling her ambitions. And all this time I thought she was just ignoring me.